My first time

This was first posted Dec 27, 2006 - Darn - I should write more..I missed writing.

Speaking of firsts, this is my first time to create an entry for a "blog" of any sort. It feels weird trying to think of stuff "creative" enough so as not to humiliate myself if and when someone should get a hold of this and read this. As they say, first impressions last :p

Anyways, earlier today, I also attended a wedding, which was another first for me. For the last time that I attended one was when I was made a coin bearer years ago. Those were the days when I was still a cute and cuddly kid instead of a grown and grumpy lad :p So that doesn't count, for I couldn't care less of what happened in that ceremony and who were those who got married.

But now is a different thing, I knew the groom and understood what exactly marriage is all about. I felt the happiness and love that surrounded us all. I clapped with glee, together with the others, knowing that this certainly is an accomplishment for the bride and the groom, as they officially sealed their love for each other under the eyes of God.

Could I ever make that vow? Mind you that that really is life-changing and is an event that signals the beginning of a new saga that could only be ended by death. Right now, if I am to be asked, my answer would have to be "no". I am far from being ready yet. Too much uncertainties lie ahead, so many sacrifices have to be made, fears of the unknown seem to frolick should I choose that future.

So, with that, I bid adieu to the thought of me going down the aisle in the near future (for the next 5 years maybe?). But what if I am to meet the girl whom I truly love, who would gladly and firmly hold my hand as we'd venture out into the realms of the unknown? She who shall be there in every step of the way as we would undertake the new life of us being together.. She who shall be at my side as me make those sacrifices that we might have to do..She whom I shall spend the rest of my years with, making the memories of our wedding day last for years and years and years; wherein, the magic of that moment as we would be exchanging "I do's", would be cherished not only as we would be watching dvd's of our wedding, but shall be played continuously in our minds and in our hearts...

The realist in me tells me that I should be contented with what I have right now..less worries..more time for myself..I could do what I want..I am free..etc.. But the hopeless romantic in me says that there is more to life than this. That I should be there loving, being loved, sharing real happiness and bliss. Find the woman whom I shall be sharing a happy ending with...

And in that moment, as I stood there, clapping my hands and witnessing as the newly-weds express their love and commitment to each other, I couldn't help but wish that someday it is my turn to be that happy too..